Called

Funny how God surprises me daily.

I planned out my goals for 2013 and had this idea of how things would go. 2012 was a wonderful but very hard year and I was down right determined to see 2013 become something new.

New it is.

Only 17 days in and God has already surprised me with what He has planned. I feel like new year's eve was eons ago.

Something encouraging about this year thus far is that I'm actually sticking with my goals. I'm eating healthier and exercising. I'm saying "no" more often. I've spent time with my husband. I met with a group of girls and I feel so encouraged.

But even with a list of things to accomplish that I think will make my life better, it has still been a huge struggle.

Huge.

I'm not throwing the list out the window and I'm not starting over because I think God really led me to write that list and stick to it, but God also is teaching me that the list isn't going to change my life, HE is.

All of the things on my list lead me in the right direction, encourage me, spur me on, get me healthy emotional and physically... But God told me, "I wish it were that easy, but it's not."

Following Christ, being His disciple, and living out faith requires so much more. It is pushing me to new heights. Do I really believe? Am I really following? Am I abiding?

I've been listening to a song by All Sons and Daughters on repeat. It has really spoken to my heart about where God has me.

You Have Called Me Higher

I could just sit

I could just sit and wait for all your goodness

Hope to feel your presence

And I could just stay

I could just stay right where I am and hope to feel you

Hope to feel something again

And I could hold on

I could hold on to who I am and never let You change me from the inside

And I could be safe

I could be safe here in Your arms and never leave home

Never let these walls down

But you have called me higher

You have called me deeper

And I will go where you will lead me Lord

You have called me higher

You have called me deeper

And I will go where you lead me Lord

Where you lead me

Where you lead me Lord

And I will be Yours

I will be Yours for all my life

So let Your mercy light the path before me

Our New Family

Happy New Year!!!

I started off the new year with a new 'do! I cut off 11 inches and donated my hair to Locks of Love to start the year off right. It was time for my long locks to be rid of because I have a little one who loves to pull, grab, and rip out my hair. So I decided to go big and cut it all off.

So I sat down this morning and really thought about this year. I'll admit, I've always thought new years resolutions are pretty silly, cheesy, and kind of pointless. What makes you think that just because the year number changes that you are going to all the sudden turn a new chapter and do things differently? What's the point in waiting for the new year? Why not start December 31?

Well, I don't have an eloquent answer except asking myself why God would even give us new years to begin with if He didn't want to differentiate time? So... if we get a number change each year why can't we have a heart/life change too?

So I've jumped on the band wagon and decided to make resolutions.

#1: Make more FAMILY time.

Time for me and Ben and Elwood to just be us. We've spent the last year driving around and around seeing everyone and making every effort to be at everything. We have become a "yes" family to everything and it leaves us with little time (and money) to do anything together as a family. We LOVE spending time with our friends and family, but I've lost sight of putting my husband and children first.

This year has left us exhausted, out of touch with each other, busy, over-commited, and broke! (Gas costs A LOT)

So we are going to try our best to say "no" more often and say "yes" to our family time!

#2: For the things I'm committing to, give it MORE.

God has led me to a few things I want to invest my time in. I don't want to give it half my effort and skim the surface anymore. I want to give God room to dig deeper into the things I'm involved in. So no more distractions (less Facebook, instagram, and other social medias!). Time to sink in deeper instead of being present at more than one place.

#3: Get healthy!

I have a lot of time that I spend with Elwood during the day. We play, read books, sing songs, and run errands. During this time I'm going to try my best to do exercises as much as I can. The idea of "working out" (going to a gym, etc) sounds wonderful but realistically isn't going to happen. (See goal #5)

So in between books, balls, and blocks I'm going to do crunches, jumping jacks, and fun yoga moves!

#4: Go to a conference.

Ben and I have made it our goal for each of us to attend a conference that interests us. Something to fill us up, inspire us, and time to dedicate to our dreams!

The hardest part is picking something! Shoot me ideas if you have them :)

#5: Budget, budget, budget! Get debt free!

Ben and I have cut way back on our excess spending, but have acquired more needs! We are feeding another person now! And he needs certain things that cost money.

Somehow we are going to reduce our spending, chip away at our debt and maintain a healthy home financially. If we don't need it, don't buy it! (This is why I'm not spending money on a gym membership, etc)

#6: Spoil my husband.

The last year has put a lot of stress on us in several ways. Some good, some not so good. In all honesty since things have gotten so crazy, my marriage has not come first. I love Ben, of course, but I haven't shown him the way I should. We've both had a ton on our plates.

Over New Years break we were able to spend some much needed quality time together and I am hooked! I love this man deeply and I desire nothing else but to be his wife and to do it well. Incorporating some of the other goals (such as saying "no" more often and to giving him more) will help me make time for him. He deserves it!

So here's the list. It's a good thing I'm publicizing this because otherwise I may not have had enough motivation to make this stuff happen. Please feel free to email me in June and ask me if I'm still working on these things! I'll need it!

My Thoughts on the Christmas Season

It has been a busy season for the Tennants. We have driven countless miles to see family and celebrate the holidays over the last month. We've gotten to see all of our families for both Thanksgiving and Christmas and Elwood got to celebrate his first holidays with everyone.

It's been such fun, special time for my sweet baby to experience this season.

In the midst of celebration I found myself getting so caught up in the logistics and timing and how things should look rather than my heart.

I feel like I missed out on God's blessings because I was so busy making sure we saw everyone, got the right gifts, and got to everything on time.

Ben, Elwood, and I spent Christmas morning in bed reading the book of Luke's account of Jesus' birth.

It was refreshing to open God's word as a family. Something that we don't get to do as often as I'd like. I'm making it my goal and resolution for 2013 for the following things:

1. Spend more time with family with no strings attached.

2. Open the Word as a family every day.

3. Say "no" more often. (We are WAY too busy.)

4. Spend more time in nourishing relationships.

5. Take time to grow spiritually, physically, and emotionally more healthy.

6. Invest in deeply rooted relationships with other women.

7. Take a beach vacation!

And lastly, to blog more often. To put more of my thoughts together and explore different avenues of writing.

Until next year...

A Heart of Thankfulness

I'm sitting downstairs with a beautiful Christmas tree lit on a rainy Monday and my sweet baby has been snoozing for 2+ hours.

I am overwhelmed with thankfulness. Being in the midst of a tough church season, a busy family schedule, and financial strain, God has blown me away with His incredible provision.

He has stunned me with His promises -- renewing my faith each day.

It's easy to get caught up in the "storm" of life. In the little things that swirl in our heads when we lay down at night -- keeping us awake. Keeping us from seeing true reality -- the world through God's eyes.

I desire compassion. The kind of compassion Jesus has. Compassion that confronts issues head on with love and humility. With grace and truth.

I wonder what it would really look like for me to see and treat others & myself the way God does. I would never doubt my mothering abilities. I wouldn't look twice in the mirror before I leave the house. I wouldn't think over what I'm going to say one hundred times before confronting an issue. I would never see myself as a failure.

How would my world change if I saw others the way God does? I wouldn't judge others. I wouldn't compare. I wouldn't desire what others have -- knowing that God has me right where He wants me. And I definitely would not speak harsh words to anyone if I saw them how Jesus does.

God, cleanse my heart. Forgive and help my unbelief. Teach me to put myself in the grave and to live fully in your Spirit.

Hallelujah!