I'm so happy to be back in the saddle after 8 long weeks away from blogging. I've had some people ask why I stopped writing since Elwood was born and the answer is simply this: I couldn't jumble all my thoughts yet.
I've had some good downtime that I probably could have used to put everything together but I've just really enjoyed every moment I've had with my sweet baby and haven't wanted to try to get things together yet. Elwood is truly a blessing and I have been soaking it up!!!
I'm going to use this first post to let everyone how Elwood is doing but also to answer some questions! I'm going to start with some of the most common questions I've been asked but I want YOUR questions! I don't get a lot of comments or emails but I'd really like to hear from you! So get creative and ask away!
1) How are you doing? How is Elwood doing?
There's not an easy answer to that. Overall - we are doing SO well. Ben and I are still learning how to balance our schedules and we're trying to figure out how this parenting thing works. Elwood is doing well after some weight issues. He lost a lot of weight his first two weeks and had a very slow growth rate for a couple weeks after that but we are thankfully on the up swing now and he's doing great!
2) Are you still nursing? What happened?
Yes, I'm still nursing! We went through a scary 48 hours where Elwood wasn't doing well with eating and having no BMs. We were at the doctor's A LOT! We did have to supplement with some formula and I was pumping and feeding him a bottle to make it easier on him. After weeks of mixing nursing, pumping, and bottle feeding I am so happy to say that he has been exclusively nursing for about a week now! I couldn't be more happy about this! I finally feel free! It was so tough to make sure I was home to pump and to keep track of milk intake and to keep milk fresh.
You know... it's so funny how life ends up. I've been working like a crazy woman since I was 15 years old and for the first time in my life I am just at home. (Well... it's not "just at home" because it's a lot of work. But not having a paid job.) I really thought that I would get a little itchy for something to do and that I would want something else. I have LOVED being home with Elwood. I've enjoyed being here with him 24/7 and having the chance to sow into him and my family. Will I ever go back to work? I have NO idea. But for right now I know the Lord is calling me to be at home and I am definitely ok with that :)
4) How did you guys do with the first week? (in regards to your loss)
We had the BEST doctors in the world. Both my OB and our pediatrician were so sensitive to our loss and our emotions. We stayed an extra day in the hospital (5 days total) just to be cautious. It was wonderful to know that Elwood was being watched 24/7 and that I didn't have to worry. We put Elwood in the nursery at night (which we didn't with Aiden) and we were blown away by the nurses in there. They reassured us emotionally and with his health all the time. We felt like they were our family for that week and they cared about Elwood just as much as we did.
The 3 day mark was hard. I was emotionally hurt thinking about that day with Aiden and just spent the day a little more attached to Elwood. I wasn't worried for him, but I couldn't help but have some scary thoughts and feelings. I got to tell Elwood about his brother and it was actually really helpful to just talk about it.
Our first night at home with Elwood was very sensitive. Ben and I were constantly checking him to make sure he was breathing and we just prayed over him all night long.
The next day took us by complete surprise. Just as we thought we were out of the woods we had a big scare. Elwood turned blue while I was nursing him. I immediately saw it and put him up and patted his back (while crying) and freaked out. He of course turned back and had his coloring and was totally fine but I totally lost it.
I called my friend Kim (SO thankful for her!) because she had this happen with her daughter and asked her what to do and what it meant. She assured me that he was ok and that he just forgot to breathe and that it does happen. She was a wonderful friend and stayed calm for me while I told her all my fears. I can't tell you how good it was to talk to someone who knew what I was saying even though I couldn't verbalize it completely.
The next 24 hours was when Elwood wasn't having any BMs and he wasn't eating. He became lethargic and sleepy so that's when we called our pediatrician and had to begin formula every 1 1/2 to 2 hours. Ben and I were an emotional wreck. Our best friends packed up their two boys and came over to just sit with us for the night. We didn't sleep at all and were just sitting there watching Elwood breathe. It was the most terrifying 48 hours of my life. I felt like his life was hanging by a thread. I know in reality it wasn't, but all our emotions and grief kicked it into high gear and we were scared.
That's probably the biggest reason I stopped blogging after he was born.
Before all this happened I simply didn't have time. But after this, it took me a long time to recover. And then I didn't know whether I wanted to talk about it or not. I didn't really tell anyone about it and I was just exhausted.
Thank GOD for my mom who spent the first two weeks with us and supported me more than I could have ever imagined someone could. She was my rock.
5) What is Elwood doing right now? What's the latest development?
Sweet Elwood is SMILING!!! Oh we are so blessed by his precious smile! He is also cooing away now and telling us all sorts of stories! It's neat to see him look you in the eye and coo about I don't even know what but he is so happy!
He's starting to not only recognize people but he gets very excited to see certain people and will zero in on them while they talk even if it's not to him. He loves listening in to conversations.
This baby LOVES music!! He enjoys worship at church and wiggles to music at home!
He can now turn his head from side to side while laying down when you call his name or have something he wants. He also is holding his head up for periods!
I was very impressed when a woman met him the other day and guessed he was 2 1/2 months old when he is only 7 1/2 weeks! I think he's an over-acheiver :)
My goal is to post at least once a week from here on out! Hopefully this was a good summary of everything and you feel caught up!
Ok the floor is open and I would LOVE to hear from you! You can either comment on this post or you can email me at firstname.lastname@example.org. I'm excited to answer some questions! Ask away! :)