I struggle knowing that God taking care of my son. Does he cradle him the way he likes? Does he feed him when he's hungry? Does he snuggle him so he's not lonely?
These questions leave me lonely awake at night wondering if he misses his mommy and daddy. It's the kind of pain that we only experience on this side of Heaven.
“They are before the throne of God
and serve him day and night in his temple;
and he who sits on the throne
will shelter them with his presence.
‘Never again will they hunger;
never again will they thirst.
The sun will not beat down on them,’
nor any scorching heat.
For the Lamb at the center of the throne
will be their shepherd;
‘he will lead them to springs of living water.
‘And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes.’”
I am beyond comforted to know that not only does God take care of my sweet Aiden, but that He doesn't even have to, because in Heaven Aiden doesn't need to be held a certain way. He doesn't need to be fed. He doesn't need anyone or anything.
He is complete.
Although I ache everyday to change his poopy diaper just one more time, I am confident in God's kingdom and that one day Ben and I will join alongside Aiden to sing songs to Jesus.
I love you, baby.
We miss you so much.